Off The Hamster Wheel

I was thinking… that for a long time I’ve been on a hamster wheel. The hamster wheel of school, the constant cycle of education. It’s not a bad thing, but I AM tired of it. Since the pandemic put the world on pause, it made me realize many things. I won’t get into everything because that would be a novel and I’m not looking to write one right now. One thing I came to realize was that I associated who I was with just being a student. Because that’s really all I knew how to be, a student learning how to become a working adult. I had plans for my career path and jobs I wanted to work, but so far they haven’t come true…YET. I’m sort of in a limbo. I’m finally out of school–no plans on going back anytime soon–and I’m not on my “planned path” to my idea of success. As you continue reading, this may come off as a rant and it is. But it is also a critique how the pandemic has effected my navigation of life after school and other struggles.

I’ve been in school for 21 years (I’m 25 now). So Jr. Kindergarten, Sr. Kindergarten, grades 1-12, 5 years of university and 2 years of college. So as you can see with those numbers, I’ve always been a student. If I think back to my time as a student I’m sure there were many times I feared what would come next. I mean I know what is supposed to come next, which is finding a job in what you’re studying. Then you ask yourself, but do you really want to work in a field that you studied. We can save this conversation for another time. The last two years are my favourite because they allowed me to bring out my creative side. Because I sure as hell didn’t really bring it out in my five years of university 😒. With school I added on work that was part time and didn’t relate to any of my studies but a job is a job when you’re in school. BUT this wave of terror called COVID-19 came in and really tore up our dreams/plans, financial stability, health and sanity.

This SOB stopped all the hamster wheels that we were on. This virus really came in like a wrecking ball with Miley Cyrus on top of it and messed everyone up. Well the virus has worked in favour for some, like the businesses that are prospering off of the downfall of regular working class, low-income citizens such as me and many of my friends. WE HAD PLANS TO TAKE THE WORLD BY STORM IN OUR FIELD/INDUSTRY OF INTEREST. And this SOB really said, “No, sit your ass down I’m going to turn the world upside down”. This could have been dealt with a lot better, but we’re here now and we can’t turn back the clock; we can only move forward.

But back to me struggling to achieve my post student life dreams…

Having dreams and plans for a successful summer working in radio (recent radio broadcasting grad) or a job working in media being shot down so quickly was so frustrating. It is still frustrating until today. I’m not where I want to be. I’m not employed full-time in the media industry. I mean I acknowledge that it is a bit tough in Toronto, because there’s so many talented people. I will prevail though don’t doubt me. But the pool of openings seem small because there are many factors (COVID and the industry evolving). The solution seems so simple because people tend to say, “why don’t you just find any job and just work”. Well the answer is, I don’t really want to find a full-time position in field I have no interest in because I just don’t want to…

I don’t want to get stuck knowing that I’m working somewhere just for a steady flow of income. I want a steady flow of income and a steady flow of happiness knowing I’m working in the media industry.

This next paragraph holds my current annoyance with the act of job hunting. I don’t think I’m the only one who feels the same way.

This job search is a bitch to do. I’ve applied to many jobs but I haven’t kept track of how many because I don’t need to make myself sad about all the responses I didn’t get 🥴. But I will say I do appreciate the speedy rejection emails from some of y’all. The current system in place is very frustrating to deal with. For example, for some companies that I have applied to, you are asked to upload your resume etc and submit. The trouble arises when there are other positions you want to apply to within that company but your candidate profile still holds the resume for the other position. Are you with me still on how this is an issue? I don’t want to delete the resume or cover letter attached when I don’t even know the status of my application. I’ve found that resume writing really varies for different industries. Some people keep the same resume and just send it out with specific wording since job hunting requires you to at times finesse the system that weeds out applications. Other people have to make adjustments to every job to fit the job description of the position they’re applying to. Using keywords that you see in the job description is one example. I wish I could have 1 resume with everything I’ve done in my life that translates to the jobs I want to work. But then that would mean maybe a 4 page resume. The struggle is real when you want to stand out but the systems that we use either block us out. (PSA: The statement you just read applies to things outside of job hunting too). #IYKYK 👀

I’m blessed to be in a position where I’m able to not have a full-time job right away after school. But it is not ideal, those OSAP vultures will come for me eventually. I really feel for those who are in the same boat or even worse. Can’t lie I feel left out or feel like I’m not doing enough to contribute to society in the ways I want. I wanted to use my personality to entertain to the degree that I imagined. I mean it will happen eventually, but I was ready for it to happen sooner. I think I just need to modify my plans more to fit the current climate that we’re in and stay positive with the mindset of ‘What’s for me is for me, as long as I don’t give up trying’.

As I said I’m 25, so I think this my quarter life crisis activated? I don’t know. What I do know is that amongst all my negative emotions towards this situation, there is a positive. This pandemic really forced me and others to take a break. I have been on a hamster wheel for 21 years, no gap years were ever taken to really get to know myself outside of being a student. I’m glad for that because I found new things to learn on my own time to help keep my content creating skills up to date. I also have come back to enjoy things like anime, movies and shows. I used to watch movies all the time when I was in high school, I even wanted to become a film critic. So I may not have found the full-time job I’ve wanted, but I’m glad I took the step to continue making content about things I’m enjoying. SUBSCRIBE to my Youtube channel where I’m currently making videos on anime shows and I will eventually transition into more films and shows.

Glad you made it this far because this is a long as blog post. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram as well to stay updated with me. See ya 💚

By: Danielle Owusu